10 Outrageous Acts Committed by Renaissance Popes

John Bellairs’s long-time friend from college, Alfred Myers, shared with us once how he and John were both “attracted to the rogues, eccentrics, and general foul balls of the papacy than the much more numerous austere, competent and virtuous examples.” Bellairs wrote a few fictional hagiographical studies of popes belonging to the former categories in Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies (1966) (title character pictured).

Something About Cat-Calling Nuns

Reciting Old Deuteronomy?

Something About a Pope, a Pope, and a Pope

omne trium perfectum?

Something About Ad Altare Dei Incense

Mind altering.

Something About the Bible Codes

Torah! Torah! Torah!

Something About Angels Bearing Flaming Swords

Three's a crowd.

Something About Saint Walpurga

May 1 have another.

Something About Umbrellas

Cover me?

Something About the Church of Saint Jacobi

A saint by any other name -

Something About the Pilgrim Pope

How many times did the pope cross the ocean?

What's What: Prayer for Fair Weather

The Moist Heart missal lists several prayers for Mass, including this one that counters the previous Prayer for Rain and instead asks heavenly guidance to parch the mushy earth [Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies; 119).

What’s What: Baltimore Catechism

During the spring session of Vatican III an elderly American bishop got the idea that a nuclear cataclysm had occurred in Baltimore, Maryland, having misinterpreted the discussion of this text [Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies; 93].

Unpublished Blog Post Found On The Laptop Of A Long-Retired New York Advertising Executive

Next time...next time it will be better. Haven’t yet found the nun who was waving that black squiggly flag. Paint the runway white and gold? Nah, it didn’t work that last time, either. Someone said his Fiat driver was found on Uber, but I must check it first. A flash mob of people outside Saint Michael’s Cathedral acting out an open Communion line, complete with Papal ferula-shaped selfie sticks. Should be interesting.  Those kids might be on to something.  Does open up a new field, though.... And this time he got to visit the White House. Humpf.  Znerb. Tweb.

What's What: Gutenberg Bible

Lewis Barnavelt finds a copy of this volume in his cousin’s library and believes, if sold, it would bring in a lot of money [The Vengeance of the Witch-finder; 127].

What’s What: Apostle Spoon

A wraith of Father Thomas Higgins leaves Johnny with this utensil, whose handle features St. Thomas, as a clue to the priest's whereabouts [The Secret of the Underground Room; 29].

Something About Psalm 43

Lewis and Latin!

A Good Nose is Requisite

A decade or so ago, two of John's friends, Alfred Myers and Charles Bowen, worked with us on a walk-through of Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies.  The project was to help us better understand the time and place from which it came from as well walk us through John's sense of humor in many of the jokes, puns, and satire.  Anyway, Bowen shared this remembrance during our research and we came across it again recently.  Dig in.

A Dream and Fruitless Vision

Here’s something we though somewhat appropriate for today, the supposed end of analog television here in the United States. On February 17, 1958, Pope Pius XII declared Saint Clare of Assisi (1193-1253) the patron saint of television.

Time Capsule: September 20, 1378

September 20, 1378: 630 years ago today Antipope Clement VII was elected by French cardinals as opposition to the Roman-elected Pope Urban VI; these proceedings lead to what Bellairs lovingly called the Grand Central Schism in Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies [58-9].

About Those "Notes" Found In The Desk Of A New York Advertising Executive...

Maybe it’s because we were immersed in trying to understand Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies a few years ago that we cracked a smile at the news that Pope Benedict XVI is making his first visit to the United States this week. This will be the ninth time a pope has visited the United States and Benedict XVI becomes only the third pope to do so, followed by John Paul II (seven visits) and Paul VI’s first, and historic, visit to New York City.