Something About Turnips

You light up my life.

It’s been decades since I’ve carved a jack-o'-lantern. When the family used to, we kept them for only a few days before quickly retiring them to the kitchen for bread and pies and a number of other goodies not suffixed with “spice.” A coworker once brought in a “spice-less” pie he concocted. It was a pie without cloves, nutmeg, ginger, or allspice and without much flavor. It was just dreadful, and we let him know about it, too.

I read recently about how carving vegetables was a common practice in many parts of the world in centuries past. Instead of gourds, people (I’m looking your way, Ireland) may have used turnips. I can imagine cutting one to look like a face, but making it a lantern seems difficult. Or did Ireland have large turnips? And, of course, turning it into turnip pie sounds beyond dreadful. (Which perhaps is what that coworker tried to force-feed us years ago....hmmm.)

Is anyone carving anything this holiday season?

The above veg looks how I feel about this holiday. Let’s get it over with.